Tuesday, August 31, 2010

spanish fly

in the drift of the night, the music of the waves. the sounds of your hearts. a mix an amalgam of minds in various states of cleansing and churning much like the waves of the ocean. a slight connection and it was nice to kiss the idea of being an idea and being in love again. whether it was a slight flirtation or an honest to goodness feeling it was nice. sometimes you have to make those moments last so they are forever in your mind, the next day these ideas may flee and you will forget the fire of the heat that they burned with. Never extol, never feel virtue, and never pass judgement since this is what will burn you. I chose to run off with her into the night, walking up the quiet country path to the house of everyone. In the stillness of the moon in the silver blue sky with the rim light pine trees standing silently against the many pin drop of stars. Passing by the open door to her room she sat there in a quiet shock of what now I may be judging regret or feelings that sometimes in the moments of group gatherings become bigger than what the really are, but she did look sad and that made me kind of sad and for the life of me I lost the words to make things better, which I usually have, but at that moment they escaped me like flitting birds and with regret I admit that I didn't have these magic bullets to make her feel better about the whole situation. In the sea swept sun, in the glaring of the bright metal boats the bobbed rhythmically to the music running through the minds of our hearts that become confused so easily. A vision of yellow and blue, yellow for the sun and blue for ocean she looked beautiful in the sadness, but I wanted it all to go away. I wanted to say, "can I come sit next to you..." but again I wasn't so brave nor smart about the whole matter. If I were right I would have done so and at least asked if she was okay. In the slight digressions of life it's never right nor wrong just the maelstorm of confusion. we can't read minds nor can we read hearts and we can never follow the natural compass that is our feelings. I'm going to have to remember this and just go for it and get that feeling that I had when I was young and the negative waves of life battered me like an old fishing boat that had lost it's way in an arctic storm in this tropical land where were would just love each other and tell everyone it's going to be okay. It's a new day tomorrow and everything will be okay, no matter what our histories were.